Starting Over Part 1 – Three Myths
We’ve all had the experience of putting something together only to have to take it apart and start over. That’s ok if it’s only a piece of flat pack furniture, but it’s not okay if it’s your life. Your career … Your marriage … Your dreams … How do you break the cycle of mistakes and failed attempts? In this 4-part series, we offer practical advice to ensure that the next time won’t be like the last time.
How are you at reading directions? Are you one of those people who thinks reading directions is for other people…you’ll just crack on. Ever had to redo something because you didn’t follow the instructions properly? That may not be too disastrous with furniture or with a toy, but with life that can be really dangerous!
There are three myths that we often subscribe to when it comes to the mistakes of the past. We think experience will make us wiser. But experience on its own doesn’t do that it just makes us older and more tired. Evaluated experience makes us wiser. We think that because we know better will do better. But how many times do we know something to be bad for us or the wrong thing to do only to do it anyway. Knowledge on its own won’t ensure we don’t repeat the same mistakes again, knowledge with accountability will. And the final myth is that time is against us. We rush in and repeat the same mistakes because we think we don’t have time to pause and reflect. But unless we do take some time we will just repeat the past.
Next time can be better than last time but only if we stop to learn the lessons. How do we learn from the past so we don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future?
Paul was one of the first followers of Jesus and he made some huge mistakes. But he turned things around with God. In a letter he wrote to a church in Rome we can find some great wisdom for learning lessons from our mistakes. We are particularly interested in chapter 8 verses 1-2, 18-19, and verse 28. You can read it here: Romans Chapter 8.
Paul lets us know in verses 1 and 2 that there is no condemnation in Jesus. Looking back to learn from our mistakes is not about feeling guilty or ashamed…that is not God’s plan. God wants freedom for us and repeating the mistakes of the past just imprisons us. In verses 18 and 19 Paul lets us know that we will experience suffering in this life but that a time is coming when all of that will be wiped away.
Finally in verse 28 we get to the real key for us today. We can know – have confidence in the truth that in all things – in every circumstance and every situation, God can work for good – God can redeem, for those who love him and are submitted to him and his purpose.
There is no situation or circumstance, no mistake or failure that God’s mercy and grace can’t overcome.
Next time can be better than last time—not because you want it to be, but because you plan for it to be. It will take more than experience and knowing better. You can’t rush things. But if you let him, God will bring good from the failure of round one whether it was your doing or not. Give your heavenly Father an opportunity to redeem your past.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion (on your own or in your small group)
- Describe a time when you ran into trouble, big or small, because you didn’t follow the directions.
- Talk about a time when you’ve seen someone repeat the same mistakes in an area of life that matters most—finances, relationships, parenting, leadership, romance. Were his or her errors obvious to you? If so, why do you think you were able to see the situation more clearly than that person?
- When have you been guilty of assuming that experience alone makes you wiser or that since you know better you’ll do better in the future? What were the results of that assumption?
- When have you made a poor decision because you believed time was against you? What was the cost of rushing into that decision?
- Read Romans Chapter 8 verse 28. Why can it be so difficult to believe that God is willing and able to redeem our pasts?
- In what area of life are you currently starting over? What mistakes do you want to avoid repeating?
Listen to the full talk below…
